I've been found myself thinking along the lines of "I'll be happy when...."
"I will be happy when 4am thesis revisions are not a part of my life"
"I will be happy when I can spend more time with my husband, family and friends and less time worrying about critiques, references, reviewing my writing...."
I have to admit I don't like this way of thinking...while thesis writing will one day be over (March?? gulp) there will always be challenges I face, struggles to get through-"when" will never be. Furthermore, this line of thought creates such a self absorption, with only my own life and my own tasks, it perpetuates my focus on something I have limited control over, causing me to be unable to see the world for what it really is...I don't want to be this person.
This is why a return to blogging more readily may be in order...I need a release, or a reminder. I need a place to remind myself of the little things in life that make up a whole. Because I don't want to spend my life, hiding from happiness for fear it will distract me from a 60 page manuscript (or in the future: my job, my work, my career)--I want to embrace, find beauty and capture the experiences that are the sum of the whole and make life worth living.....